Monday, January 4, 2010

What It means to have multiples in public!

Ever since Noel and I found out that we were having triplets we have been asked several questions and more than half more personal than would be asked to a family pregnant with just a singleton. To give you some of the questions that we have been asked:

1. Were you on fertility treatments?
2. Wow your hands are full!
3. Oh, wow, bet you're done now, right!
4. Whoa, and I thought one was bad!
5. Are your (boy/boy/girl) triplets identical?
6. My cousin's friend's sister's neighbor who lives over in Winchesterfieldsville had triplets etc.
7. Have you seen that show.. Jon + Kate?" or worse "Wow a couple more and you could be Octomom
8. Can I take a picture of your babies/kids?
9. I bet it gets annoying when people ask you all kinds of questions when you're trying to get stuff done, huh?
10. You know how this happens right?

To name a few. Since our "safari" walks where we go we get lots of stares. What it feels like we are in a parade and we are the only entry in the parade. Now the "safari" is too young to know that it is not normal to be stared at wherever we go. It happens everywhere we go church, store, parks, etc. Since my "safari" are so close in age they are all put into the same situation.

Most of the time Noel and I try to be as polite as possible and if the person that is making the comment seems to be just curious and not trying to pry we let them talk to the "safari" and we answer some of their questions. We like grandma's who like to say hello. But that is not what happened the other day at Wal-Mart.

After Sunday church I took the "safari" to Wal-Mart without Noel because he was working hard on the play set. I went to Wal-Mart to do my shopping to get the "safari" out of the house. Hannah was in the basket and the other four where walking on their animal rope. We were doing great until we where in the chip/soda aisle.

We were walking down the aisle and I noticed that the weight distribution in the line changed suddenly. I turned to find a male trying to pick up two of my children from the line. Now let me tell you that this man did not try to start a conversation with my "safari" or with me first. So the momma bear came out of me, but the filter was turned on because my "safari" was standing there. I told this man in the loudest voice that I could make, "At what point did you see the 'free petting zoo' sign above my children?" He continued to stand there. I made several comments until the store manager made it to the aisle and I let him know that I was not pleased that I could not shop in store without being assaulted. The man never apologized for trying to pick up my "safari." We did not finish our shopping but bought lunch for the guys and left.

After several days and several thoughts that went through my mind was that this would never happen if I had singletons, or my "safari" was not so close in age. I felt sorry for my "safari" that they cannot be left alone when we go somewhere. Are we suppose to stay inside so my "safari" is not stared at, pictures are not taken, people do not ask stupid questions? NO, we not going to stay inside but we are going to live our lives and our "safari" will continue to walk with each other on their animal line and not be shoved into strollers or shopping baskets to make it easier on me, because they are people too no matter what other people think.

I struggle with my comments that I want to make to people when they ask me stupid questions, or when they try to touch, hold, pick up my "safari." I have to ask God to help me with my tongue when we leave the house and to make me humble and compassionate with people even though they do not have filters. Noel and I pray that our "safari" will understand that they will be looked at through out their childhood and that they are unique but still normal.

For all you that like to stare and ask stupid questions, please put on some kind of filter until you get to know us. Just because we have multiples and children close in age does not mean that all questions are good and no question is off limits. We are human and have personal lives just like you do. Ask A question and move on.

1 comment:

Trish said...

I think you did the right thing. I love going out in public with my grandchildren. I am so proud of the way they act and behave. I am so blessed to have so many wonderful grandchildren. Sometimes people just don't think before they speak or act. I am glad you are asking God to give you wisdom on what to say. God may give you an opportunity to share Jesus through your children. Look at each opportunity as a God opportunity and He will give you the words to say. I love you and I love the safari. Mom