The moving line between sanity and insanity

When Noel and I decided that it would be best for me to become a SAHM (stay at home mother), I was glad and scared all at the same time. You see I made sure that I went to college and got a good job when I graduated. At the time I was almost to the top of where I wanted to be and now I was going to give all that up. Looking back I am glad that I did, but you know there are those days where you daydream about what it would be like......to not have children.

Everyday there are moments when the line between sanity and insanity is flirted with. Some moments I feel that I am going insane if one of my "safari" asks me one more time "where daddy go?" and then in the next breath tell me "work." You see that would be fine if I was only asked once by everyone but I have counted and found out that I get asked that question no less than 58 times in a day, and sometime several times in a row. Another moment is when they want a snack or juice. You see I have four toddlers that like to talk and when one starts they all start and they just continue to ask over and over and over and over and over again. We are learning to be quiet and not talk so much. (yeah right!)

You see I feel that every mother has these moments in the day when you want to put your two week notice in and tell your husband that you would do anything except be a SAHM, no matter how many children you have. I have those moments and sometimes more than once in a day. The line between sanity and insanity sometimes moves on you and before you know it you are on the insanity side and you just want to quit. Then for me there is a moment of clarity where I have to decide if I am going to move back to the sanity side or if I need to call Noel. Of course I have to pray continuously throughout the day as well. I have no idea how women do this without praying.

Travel season and this time right now where tax information is due and Noel will be traveling again soon always brings me back to those "insanity" moments. Where the "safari" has learned how to take their beds apart. Where we had to remove the wheels on the cribs because they were playing roller derby with them. The closet doors had to removed because they were testing how hard they could close them. All the clothes had to removed from the closest because they learned how to remove the drawers, turn them over and stand on them to reach the clothes. Where we had to put up 2x2 pieces of wood through the curtains and then hammer them into the studs to get them from being pulled down. Where we had to put a lock on the outside of the door because they learned to open doors even with the "safety" door holder on. Then on top of that potty training. You know the everyday things. I look back and think that all I can really do is laugh and go onto the next adventure.

At the end of the day no matter what has happened, Noel is there to tell me that I am doing a great job and that he is proud of me. Even if the chores did not get all done he is there to help me or give me the hour that I need to purge all the insanity moments from my head so that I can finish my day. He is there to tell me that it can wait and that we are going to watch TV and relax. Then he is there to tell me that he is going to get up and go to work at 5:30 a.m. in the morning until his all his tax information is done (3 weeks) so that he can get his work done and still be home in time for dinner and baths. Then the days where the work is too much he comes home to help me put the "safari" to bed and then goes back to work. You see there might be a moving line between sanity and insanity but if you have a husband that makes you feel like you are superwoman then those insanity moments are okay and you can laugh at them together. I thank God everyday and sometimes several times a day that I married this man and that he is not just my husband but my best friend. I hope that if you have a husband like this that you tell him on a daily basis that he helps you keep your sanity and that you love him.